Heart Ache

I have been ill for several years.  I have type 2 diabetes. congestive heart failure and chronic kidney disease.  I should add I also suffer from depression. 

Lately I have had a hard time walking. By that I mean I get winded and fatigued easily. 

After many tests it has been determined that I need Mitral valve repair or replacement.

So this Thursday I am having surgery.  Yes the girl who went through natural childbirth four times so she wouldn't have to have an IV is having surgery. ( I now know how crazy that was. Girls go ahead and take the epidural) Having a child with Spina bifida who never complained once when facing surgery , even asked for surgery makes a mother know she can survive and have courage.
I did have my gall bladder out , but that surgery was after Elisabeth had courageously had many surgeries.  This surgery I am facing is necessary but a little foreboding.  They are going to open up my chest.  I have full faith the surgery will go well.  I have one of the finest cardiologist surgeons available.
I am more concerned that I will not be a good patient. That I will be a wimp when it comes to pain.
When they took out my gall bladder I had surgery at 5pm and went home the next day at 11 am.  The morphine pump worked and I was not in much pain. 

This time the surgeon told me I will be in the hospital 7 to ten days. Eternity to an impatient woman like me.  They mentioned I will be on a ventilator.  Be in intensive care.  All experiences I have not had nor do I really want to have.

After I recover, (Please Heavenly Father, let me do a great job at recovering and not be a pain to the nurses.) I get a second chance at life.  I can walk and enjoy my grand babies . Lose this weight and live until my maker calls me home. I hope to be of service to my fellowman. To lift and help others more.  To not let the physical and medical challenges I have been dealt continue to hold me down.